This weekend I will be attending a family reunion on my mom’s side of the family.  As I prepare to go to the reunion, I am reminded again of the great blessings I have experienced in my life because my parents took care of my mother’s parents when they were no longer able to care for themselves.  I have written about my perceptions of that experience as a child in a “sandwiched” family in <em>Pass the Peanut Butter and Jelly: Inspirational Stories for Sandwiched Families</em>.  The following is an excerpt from that book:

At a family reunion a few years ago, I was talking with my cousins and realized many of them didn’t have a close relationship with my grandparents. In fact, they really didn’t even know my grandparents. They never had the opportunity to know their own family history and the legacy of my grandparents. As a result, my cousins missed out on . . .

• The warm, funny, totally zany moments of living in the altered reality of a grandparent who has had a stroke
• The frustrations of trying to negotiate life with grandma and her sense of thriftiness
• The rare moments of hearing poems recited from memory
• The quiet moments of shared solitude sitting by a hospital bed
• The triumph of completing a quilt with grandma
• The grasp of a grandparent’s hand seeking comfort from someone familiar

My parents gave me the irreplaceable gift of having a close, personal relationship with my grandparents. Admittedly, my parents paid a high cost to provide that opportunity for me. The good moments were accompanied by lots of struggles and frustrations. Physical and emotional exhaustion joined family gatherings. I knew at a young age what it was for another human soul to totally depend on you for care. My parents missed moments of relaxation and even moments of our lives at times. Yet, observing my parents care for my grandparents was a blessing and a memorable legacy.

Unknowingly, my parents taught us some of the greatest lessons of spiritual devotion and service when they were washing out bedpans and changing soiled linens. My parents still don’t recognize what a positive impact their devotion to my grandparents has made on the lives of the kids on the other side of the sandwich. My mom still occasionally apologizes to us for “neglecting” us when we were kids because she was caring for her parents. No matter what I say to my mom, she doesn’t seem to understand the positive impact her devotion to her parents had on me. One of the greatest legacies of caring for my grandparents was the deepening of spiritual faith.

Today, I once again celebrate the extraordinary examples my parents have been and continue to be as servants in the Kingdom!  I am blessed beyond measure.

The newest edition of <em>The Christian Chronicle</em> features several articles about churches and child abuse.  Although any incident of child abuse is tragic, it seems even more of a violation when children are abused in a church setting because we naively think that churches are safe places for children.  Regrettably, our trusting approach to church situations actually make it more likely that sexual predators will target children in churches.

The most significant step church members can take to help prevent abuse of children is to be aware of the warning signs of abuse and to create a church culture of awareness.  Part of developing awareness is for parents to teach their children about sexual aafety.  Parents who can sit down and talk with their children about safe and unsafe touching will provide a foundation so that their children will feel comfortable talking to them if inappropriate touching does occur.

For parents who grew up in homes where sexuality was discussed, talking with children about sexual safety will seem natural.  However, many parents grew up in homes where talking about sexual issues was taboo.  For parents who aren’t comfortable talking about sexual issues, reading a book or coloring book with their children can provide a non-threatening way to begin the discussions.

Churches and parents can no longer afford to treat sexual issues as a taboo subject because it sets up children to be victimized.  When parents and churches are silent, children also remain silent and unprepared to protect themselves.