NBC launched a new reality show, “My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad,” this past Monday evening. Children between the ages of 8 and 12 compete with their dads against other father/child teams. The competitions include Human Dart Board, The Spinning Discs, Snake Bobbing, Alphabet Soup, Happy Hour, Uphill Battle, Empty Nest, Target Practice, Quiz Round, Scorpion King, Paper Boy Shoot-Out, Arachnophobia, and Stinger. Ultimately the final team competes in the “Money” round for up to $50,000. The show is being marketed as family-friendly.

Family friendly? While the show may not have sexual content or inappropriate language, I question whether it is the family show I want my children to see. I’m not sure I want my children to think that a father should, or even can, be evaluated based on the shows criteria. I believe that a father should be evaluated based on the impact his has on teaching his children to make decisions that will lead them to heaven. I believe a father should be evaluated on how he parents his children throughout their lives.

This last week, I had a birthday. It has been a long standing tradition for my mother to call me on my birthday and sing “Happy Birthday.” She has done that since I went to college more than twenty years ago. That is, she had sung to me on every one of my birthdays, until two years ago. Two years ago, my mom called and told me happy birthday, but she didn’t sing to me. Last year, my mom called and told me happy birthday, but she didn’t sing to me.

My mom has had some health challenges and I had accepted that I realized I probably would never hear her sing “Happy Birthday” again. I didn’t mention it to her because I didn’t want her to feel bad about forgetting to sing to me.

This year, my mom didn’t call on my birthday. My dad called. His deep voice told me he had called to tell me happy birthday. I heard my mom talking to him and he said my mom was getting on the other extension. Mom picked up the phone and said, “I just wanted to sing happy birthday to you.” Then I heard my mom and dad singing “Happy Birthday” together. My dad never joined my mother in singing before. For the first time in more than twenty years I heard my dad’s voice singing on my birthday.

I don’t know if mom remembered she was supposed to sing to me this year or if my dad reminded her. I do know that my dad dialed my number, got my mom on the phone, and joined her in singing. For that moment, I know my dad was better than your dad.

The deadly shooting at Northern Illinois University has left students, professors, parents, law enforcement officers, and the public with lots of unanswered questions. Many of us wonder “Why” such an event occurs. We want to sift through media accounts of the shooting to try to understand the psyche of the shooter and to try to determine what triggered the event so that we will feel safer.

Perhaps we would be better off if we would spend our energy focused on what we can learn that will help us be better able to protect those we love. Here are the lessons I propose we can learn from the shooting.

1. Dangerous people don’t always look dangerous. People who work with us and live in our communities can present a risk to our safety and the safety of our children. What we can do is teach our children how to recognize behaviors that are dangerous rather than focusing on teaching our children about people who might look dangerous. God Made Me: The Safe Touch Coloring book emphasizes the behaviors that might typically occur in abusive situations.

2. Dangerous situations can occur in unexpected places. As a college professor, I like to reassure myself that graduate students are more mature than undergraduate students. The recent shooting blew apart my false sense of security because the shooter was a graduate student. I want to believe that I am safe in my home and in my church family. The reality is that random acts of violence and abuse can occur in all settings. When I initially meet with church leaders to talk about child safety planning, all of the leaders want to believe it would never happen in their church. Yet, it does.

My heart goes out to the Northern Illinois University community and the family members of the victims. I hope you will join me in praying for them. Use this tragic situation to learn lessons about how to keep your family safer rather than just being grateful it wasn’t your family member.