The deadly shooting at Northern Illinois University has left students, professors, parents, law enforcement officers, and the public with lots of unanswered questions. Many of us wonder “Why” such an event occurs. We want to sift through media accounts of the shooting to try to understand the psyche of the shooter and to try to determine what triggered the event so that we will feel safer.

Perhaps we would be better off if we would spend our energy focused on what we can learn that will help us be better able to protect those we love. Here are the lessons I propose we can learn from the shooting.

1. Dangerous people don’t always look dangerous. People who work with us and live in our communities can present a risk to our safety and the safety of our children. What we can do is teach our children how to recognize behaviors that are dangerous rather than focusing on teaching our children about people who might look dangerous. God Made Me: The Safe Touch Coloring book emphasizes the behaviors that might typically occur in abusive situations.

2. Dangerous situations can occur in unexpected places. As a college professor, I like to reassure myself that graduate students are more mature than undergraduate students. The recent shooting blew apart my false sense of security because the shooter was a graduate student. I want to believe that I am safe in my home and in my church family. The reality is that random acts of violence and abuse can occur in all settings. When I initially meet with church leaders to talk about child safety planning, all of the leaders want to believe it would never happen in their church. Yet, it does.

My heart goes out to the Northern Illinois University community and the family members of the victims. I hope you will join me in praying for them. Use this tragic situation to learn lessons about how to keep your family safer rather than just being grateful it wasn’t your family member.