During Maria’s eighth grade year, her parents befriend her softball coach, Coach Jennings. When Coach Jennings’ mother dies, she begins to talk to Maria more about her mother and her own grief. Although Maria’s parents’ are concerned about Maria assuming a peer relationship with her coach, they reassure themselves that Coach Jennings is a coach at a Christian school and a family friend.

One weekend, Maria’s mother attends a ladies retreat sponsored by her church. Coach Jennings calls Maria after the other women have left for the retreat and tells Maria she wants to attend the retreat and asks Maria to ride with her to the retreat. Maria agrees. When Coach Jennings and Maria get to the retreat area, they have to share a room because there aren’t other rooms available. They sit up talking for several hours talking.

In the early morning hours, they go to bed. Some time later, Maria awakes when she feels Coach Jennings’ hands caressing her breasts. Maria’s body stiffens, but she keeps her eyes closed hoping that Coach Jennings will think that she is asleep. Maria can’t believe what is happening. Surely Coach Jennings is asleep. Eventually it stops. Maria lies awake staring at the ceiling after Coach Jennings’ steady breathing indicates she is asleep.

The next morning when Maria gets up, she doesn’t mention the incident and pretends it didn’t happen. Coach Jennings never mentions the situation. Both Maria and Coach Jennings spend the day in Bible study together with the other women on the retreat. That night, they both go back to their room and talk about the day’s lessons. They both go to bed without mentioning the previous night’s incident. Although Maria is anxious, she believes the previous night’s incident was a mistake or that maybe she was dreaming. Eventually she falls asleep.

Again, Coach Jennings’ hands awaken her. Maria pretends she is asleep. Nothing is said about what happens the next morning. Maria thinks about telling her mother, but doesn’t want Coach Jennings to get in trouble. Maria doesn’t tell anyone what happened. That weekend becomes the beginning of nearly five years of sexual abuse.

Maria is one of 1.3 million children a year that are sexually abused. Approximately one in three women and one in six men are sexually abused before age 18, and an estimated 61 percent of sexual assault victims are under the age of 18. With such a large number of children and teens being sexually abused, parents need to develop an awareness of how adults manipulate children into sexually abusive relationships. Parents need to be cautious and aware of who their children are spending time with. Just because someone is a “Christian” or a family “friend” doesn’t mean that parents don’t still need to supervise their children’s activities.

Trust your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right to you, check it out!

Excerpt from Sex: Helping Church Teens Deal With Challenging Issues.