God’s Grace in a Child’s Face
In the midst of a discussion about adoption with a child today, I got a quick glimpse of what God’s grace can mean. The child I was talking with today had been removed from the care of his mother due to physical abuse, sexual abuse, and drug use of his mother. He has lived in with mutliple relatives and moved from home to home. A judge made the decision in March to terminate his mother’s parental rights.
As part of preparing kids for adoption, I try to make sure that they understand ways their adoptive families will be different from their biological families. Sometimes kids are afraid to be adopted because they believe that living in a family will mean that they will be abused again.
Today, I asked, “How will your adoptive family be different than your birth family?”
The answer caught me off guard. “They won’t know anything about what has happened to me or the things I have done.”
I had to challenge that answer because adoptive families get to read all the information available in a child’s file. Admittedly, some times the information available is limited.
The child sitting with me had been sexually abused by multiple children in his family and had engaged in sexually inappropriate behavior with other children. His hope was that an adoptive family would not know about a history that made him feel ashamed and embarrassed. It would have been so nice not to have to tell him that his family would know, but I had to be honest.
The best response I could come up with was “Your family will know all about your family and everything that has happened to you, but the great thing is your adoptive family is going to love you even when they know everything about you.”
The child paused and looked at me. “They will really know everything about me?”
I heard the rest of the question he couldn’t put into words. “They will really know everything about me and still adopt me?”
I responded again. “They will know everything about you and love you even when they know everything about you.”
I saw a smile gradually spread across his face. “That will be good.”
Yes. Being loved by his adoptive family will be good.
Being loved by the One who created us and knows everything about us is even better.
