Not every child is ready for adoption when the system is ready to move the child to an adoptive placement. There is a tremendous amount of pressure put on adoptive caseworkers to get children placed quickly in adoptive homes. Overall, it is a good thing that we are moving children to adoptive placements more quickly because children need permanency. They need to know who their forever family will be.
There are children though, who need to address their trauma and attachment issues before they are placed in an adoptive home. I believe most children are adoptable if we can place them in an adoptive home when they are ready to be placed.
Children should not be living in families if they pose a risk of harm to themselves or others or if they are so oppositional that they cannot respond appropriately to simple household rules. Sometimes, counselors with a lot of experience working with adoption can help families and children navigate through some difficult situations and help adopted children learn to trust new parents.
Children need time to work through their trauma and learn they can trust adults to keep them safe before they are ready to commit to a new family. We need to allow children to reach a point where they are healed enough to live in a family.