From April 2009 until September 2010, a Michigan man, Steven Demink, built an online profile posing as a single father and a pscyhologist. He targeted single mothers who were lonely and vulnerable. He made himself more attractive to single mothers by posting pictures of male models on his profile. He lavished attention on the single mothers and presented sexual involvement with their children as a therapeutic act.

I don’t know how he presented himself to the mothers, but he was apparently effective. None of the single mothers he tried to persuade to sexually molest their children turned him in. Instead it was a grandmother of one of the sexually assaulted children who called a local sheriff and turned in the mother. The mother is now serving time for sexually abusing her child.

Demink persuaded women in at least four states to sexually molest their children and send him pictures. He persuaded one mother to sexually molest her autistic son and let him watch via a webcam. The ages of the children who have been identified as victims range from 3 to 15 years of age.

I have to wonder if the mothers of the children really believed that engaging in sexual acts with their children was therapeutic or if they were willing to sacrifice the safety of their children to pursue a relationship with an attractive man. In my experience working with parents, both options are equally possible.

I’ve seen parents who would genuinely know so little about child development that they could be persuaded by someone else that sexual abuse was a therapeutic activity. These parents have grown up in such a negligent environments, they don’t know how to parent.

Way to frequently, I’ve see mothers choose a relationship with a boyfriend or spouse over their children. These mothers have actually lost custody of their children permanently because they would not end a relationship with a man who was sexually or physically abusing their children.

I don’t share this story with you to scare you. I’m sharing this article with you because I want you to realize that parents of your children’s friends may not have the same values you do. The parents of the other kids at your church or on your child’s Little League team may have different values and boundaries for their children than your values and boundaries.

Here are a few suggestions for you:

1. Make sure that you know a lot about your children’s friends and their parents.

2. When your children are spending time with other adults, randomly visit at unexpected times so you know what is going on.

3. Make sure that you spend time teaching your children about safe and unsafe people and relationships.

4. Pay close attention to changes in your children’s behavior or children’s reluctance to spend time with certain other adults or children. Your children may be trying to communicate that they don’t feel safe.

5. Trust your gut reaction. If it doesn’t feel right to you, don’t let your children go.

You can do a lot as a parent to insure the safety of your children.

Keeping your children safe is your job as a parent.

In Union City, California on December 1, a two-year-old girl was in a Dollar Tree store with her grandmother and aunt. The grandmother and aunt walked around an aisle and out of view of the two year old girl to return a ribbon to a Christmas-themed aisle.

Eugene Ramos, a convicted sex-offender, allegedly used that moment to grab the 2-year-old. Less than a minute later, the grandmother and aunt noticed the girl was missing. They found her pinned down by Ramos in the next aisle over.

Less than a minute later, the grandmother and aunt noticed the girl was missing. When the grandmother and aunt saw the girl, Ramos had removed her pants and diaper and had his pants and underwear removed. They literally caught Ramos in the act of sexually assaulting the 2-year-old.

Ramos fled the store, but was caught within minutes.

I tell this story not to offend you, but to help you develop an awareness of how easily a child can be targeted by a sexual predator. Ramos literally assaulted a small child in broad daylight in the aisle of a store. He didn’t lure her to the bathroom or to his car.

I wonder if Ramos perpetrated similar offenses on children before and not been caught.

If you are supervising children, remember that you need to keep them in your eyesight at all times in public places. It only takes a few seconds of looking away or going to another aisle for a perpetrator to target a child.

You also need to teach your children to scream for help if a stranger tries to interact with them in any way.

Similarly, it only takes a few minutes for someone you know to target your child in familiar places as well. You have to be aware of where your children are and make sure that they feel comfortable talking to you about appropriate and inappropriate touching.

Reading this story has renewed my commitment to get a short book put together for parents outlining what they can do to protect their children from sexual predators.

According to the associated press, in response to the rising number of reports of teachers sexually abusing students, ten states have developed plans to crack down on sexually abusive teachers. The new measures in these ten states provide tougher penalties for teachers who abuse students, punishment for administrators who fail to provide adequate supervision of teachers, and educational initiatives to train teachers on how to recognize abusers in their midst.

Regrettably, we have reached the point as a society where these measures are necessary to provide a minimal level of protection for children. Those who should most be concerned about the safety of children have become those who prey on children.

While it is admirable that states are trying to take measures to address teachers sexually abusing children, the reality is that as parents we need to do everything we can to help protect our children. We have to be willing to talk with our children about sexual issues. By the time our children are five years of age, they should know how to recognize when someone is trying to touch them inappropriately. If you as a parent haven’t taught your children about sexual safety and they are five year of age or older, now it the time to start teaching them. If you need assistance in teaching them, God Made Me: The Safe Touch Coloring Book is designed to help you teach your children about sexual safety.